Is People Pleasing Affecting Your Health? And What You Can Do About It.
People pleasing often looks like kindness, generosity, or being “easy‑going.” But beneath the surface, it can quietly take a toll on your physical, emotional, and energetic health. Many of the people I work with are caring, intuitive, and deeply empathetic, often sensitive, self‑aware, and spiritually inclined, yet they feel exhausted, anxious, resentful, or disconnected from themselves. Over time, chronic people pleasing can become more than a habit; it can become a health issue.
In this post, we’ll explore how people pleasing affects your health and how transpersonal therapy, shamanic counselling, and NLP can help you reconnect with your authentic self and restore balance.
What Is People Pleasing?
People pleasing is the unconscious pattern of prioritising others’ needs, emotions, and expectations over your own, often at the expense of your own wellbeing. It may show up as:
Difficulty saying no
Fear of conflict or disappointing others
Over‑giving and under‑receiving
Constantly seeking approval or validation
Ignoring your own needs, feelings, or intuition
Self limiting or negative beliefs.
While these patterns often develop as survival strategies (especially in childhood), they can become deeply ingrained and automatic. and work against you in adult life.
The Hidden Health Impact of People Pleasing
When you consistently override your own needs, your body and nervous system pay the price. The emotional, mental and physical effects include;
Chronic anxiety or hypervigilance
Guilt or shame when setting boundaries
Low self‑worth or loss of identity
Suppressed anger leading to resentment or burnout
Fatigue and adrenal exhaustion
Tension, headaches, or digestive issues
Weakened immune system (can allow auto immune syndromes to arise)
Feeling “drained” after interactions.
From a holistic perspective, people pleasing creates internal fragmentation - a split between who you are and who you feel you need to be. Over time, this disconnection can manifest as illness, emotional numbness, or a sense of being stuck.
Why Willpower Alone Won’t Fix This
Many people try to “just be more assertive” or force boundaries through logic. While helpful at a surface level, this approach often fails because people pleasing is rarely a conscious choice, it’s rooted in the subconscious, the nervous system, and sometimes even ancestral or soul level patterns.
This is where deeper therapeutic work becomes essential.
How Transpersonal Therapy Helps Heal People Pleasing at the Root
Transpersonal therapy goes beyond symptom management and explores the deeper layers of your experience—identity, meaning, and consciousness.
In the context of people pleasing, transpersonal therapy can help you:
Explore where the pattern originated (childhood, relational, or spiritual wounding)
Reconnect with your authentic self beyond roles and expectations
Heal the parts of you that learned safety through self‑abandonment
Access inner wisdom, intuition, and a stronger sense of self
This approach supports not just behavioural change, but identity level transformation.
Shamanic Counselling: Restoring Energetic Boundaries and Soul Wholeness
From a shamanic perspective, chronic people pleasing often involves energy loss, soul fragmentation, or weakened boundaries.
Shamanic counselling can help you:
Identify where you are giving away your energy
Retrieve lost parts of yourself that learned to hide or comply
Release cords, contracts, or patterns that keep you over‑giving
Strengthen your energetic boundaries and sense of sovereignty
Many clients describe feeling more grounded, protected, and whole after this work—as if they are finally living from their own centre rather than reacting to others.
NLP: Rewiring Your Subconscious People Pleasing Pattern
Neuro‑Linguistic Programming (NLP) works directly with the subconscious mind—the place where people pleasing habits are stored.
Using NLP, we can:
Identify the unconscious beliefs driving people pleasing (e.g. “I’m only safe if everyone is happy”)
Rewire automatic responses to conflict or requests
Build new internal representations of confidence and choice
Anchor states of calm, clarity, and self‑trust
NLP is especially powerful for creating practical, real world change, helping you respond differently without forcing yourself or feeling overwhelmed.
What Happens When You Stop People Pleasing?
As people pleasing patterns dissolve, many people experience:
Improved energy and vitality
Stronger immune and nervous system regulation
Healthier relationships based on authenticity
Clearer boundaries without guilt
A deeper sense of peace and self‑respect
Most importantly, your body no longer has to carry the burden of unspoken “no’s.”
A Holistic Path Forward
People pleasing isn’t a flaw, it’s a sign of sensitivity, empathy, and resilience. With the right support, these qualities can be reclaimed without self‑sacrifice.
By integrating transpersonal therapy, shamanic counselling, and NLP, we work on:
The mind (beliefs and patterns)
The body and nervous system (safety and regulation)
The energy and soul (wholeness and authenticity)
This multidimensional approach allows change to happen naturally, gently, and sustainably.
Ready to Reclaim Your Health and Authentic Self?
If you’re a sensitive, intuitive, or spiritually curious person who has spent a lifetime putting others first, you may already feel that talk‑based approaches alone haven’t gone deep enough. You don’t need another strategy to cope—you need a space where the deeper pattern can finally soften and release.
In my work, I support people who are ready to:
Stop sacrificing their health for harmony
Feel safe saying no without guilt
Reclaim lost energy, confidence, and self‑trust
Live in alignment with their truth rather than obligation
Through a gentle yet powerful blend of transpersonal therapy, shamanic counselling, and NLP, we work across mind, body, energy, and soul—so change doesn’t feel forced, but embodied and lasting.
If this resonates, I invite you to take the next step.
You’re welcome to book a session or a free exploratory conversation to see whether this way of working feels right for you. I meet with clients online or in person in Crossmaglen, Co. Armagh.
You don’t have to keep abandoning yourself to be loved.
Healing people pleasing is not about becoming harder, it’s about becoming whole.
About the therapist
I’m Geraldine, a transpersonal therapist, shamanic counsellor, and NLP practitioner who works with sensitive, intuitive and deeply reflective people who feel exhausted from over‑giving and self‑abandonment. My approach is holistic and integrative, blending psychological insight with nervous system awareness, energy work, and soul‑level healing.
I offer a safe, grounded, and compassionate space where long‑held patterns such as people pleasing can gently unravel, allowing you to reconnect with your truth, restore your vitality and live with greater ease and authenticity.
If you recognise yourself in this post and feel called to explore a deeper way of healing people pleasing patterns, I’d be honoured to support you.
You don’t have to choose between being kind and being healthy.
Your needs matter. Your body knows the truth. And it’s possible to live in alignment without guilt.
Meet with me online or in person in Crossmaglen, Co. Armagh.
